The Stanly Cup Playoff as Told By ITYSL
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The Florida Panthers Vegas Golden Knights are your Stanley Cup Champions. But that doesn’t tell the full story.
16 Teams made the Stanley Cup Playoffs and only 1 won, so what happened? How did we get to the first Cup in Vegas history (after a long 6-year wait)?
Well, the story is a little weird and off-putting at times. So we decided to tell that story using a weird and off-putting show.
Here are the Stanley Cup Playoffs, told by quotes from I Think You Should Leave.
Colorado Avalanche
Seed: Central-1 Overall-7
Playoff record: 3-4
Cup Champs to first-round Chumps? No Landeskog next season? Getting beat by the goaltender you left exposed in the expansion draft? Sitting courtside while the other Denver team won a championship? Probably doesn’t feel great if you’re a member of the Avalanche right now.
Boston Bruins
Seed: East-1 Overall-1
Playoff Record: 3-4
I swear I really tried.
I spent an unnecessary amount of time thinking and searching for a not-so-obvious choice, but I couldn’t find a better fit.
The Bruins looked unreal in the regular season on their way to setting an NHL regular season record of 135 points. The city of Boston was probably already planning its parade the day the playoffs started. Unfortunately for the Bruins, and much to my personal delight, it all went horribly wrong and they got bounced in round one by the Florida Panthers. They can officially join the 2015-2016 Golden State Warriors and the 2007 New England Patriots in the support group for record-setting regular season teams with no championship to show for it.
Minnesota Wild
Seed: Central-3 Overall-11
Playoff Record: 2-4
Okay so this is cheating a bit because it’s not the Stanley Cup playoffs, but the CAP HELL era in Minnesota is beginning. $14 Million a year in dead cap from the Suter/Parise buyouts for the next 2 years. Bill Guerin is going to be alligator-arming every dinner for a couple of years.
Tampa Bay Lightning
Seed: Atlantic-3 Overall-13
Playoff Record: 2-4
It felt like an end of dominance for the Tampa Bay Lightning this year. They had some rough stretches in the regular season and got bounced out in the first round by the Toronto Maple Leafs. The team played a lot of grueling post-season hockey over the last three seasons, they won back-to-back cups and had a three-peat as Eastern Conference champs. So you have to wonder, after the puck went into the net in overtime of game six, if some of the core players that were part of that run were just happy they didn’t have to work tomorrow.
Winnipeg Jets
Seed: West-WC2 Overall-14
Playoff Record: 1-4
The Jets showed up I guess. 5 games in the playoffs before they got sent packing so hard that they’re thinking about trading their Vezina-winning goalie. In their defense, they did at least have that one really long game.
New York Islanders
Seed: East-WC1 Overall-15
Playoff Record: 2-4
Sorry Islanders fans this might seem a little harsh, but going into the playoffs your team had the weakest roster of the eight teams in the east. Even with a stud in net like Sorokin, no one realistically gave them a chance against the Hurricanes in round one. So when it came to previewing the playoffs, your team just wasn’t important to the conversation.
LA Kings
Seed: Pacific-3 Overall-10
Playoff Record: 2-4
Listen, there doesn’t exist a gif that captures the Kings’ postseason run. They’re ahead of schedule on the rebuild and still have some veterans who are performing. It’s starting to really look like they stole Kevin Fiala. They shipped out their franchise Goalie for pennies just to get rid of him. I like this Kings team a lot so I just went with their Lakers brethren on the gif. Show Time Kings, let’s get it started. *
*Okay Kings, Kings okay. You didn’t have to react to this by trading everything.
New York Rangers
Seed: Metropolitan-3 Overall-9
Playoff Record: 3-4
After making the east finals last year expectations were high for the New York Rangers. They ended up facing the young upstart New Jersey Devils in round one and it looked like the Rangers would cruise through the series. They dominated games one and two on the road to take the early 2-0 lead. They would go on to lose the next two games at home and four of the next five losing the series in seven games. It was capped off by a 4-0 shutout in game seven.
Seattle Kraken
Seed: West-WC1 Overall-12
Playoff Record: 7-7
Can I officially join the Kraken bandwagon now? The team finally graduated from just the team with the funny Branon Tanev picture to a contender that made the whole plane out of 2nd Line. They had 11 skaters score at least 2 goals, knocked off the reigning champ, and pushed Dallas to the brink. I think hockey Twitter and I are in on the Kraken Kart (I’ll workshop it)
Toronto Maple Leafs
Seed: Atlantic-2 Overall-4
Playoff Record: 5-6
This one is pretty self-explanatory. The Maple Leafs finally broke through the round one wall for the first time in twenty years. I’m sure this probably left many fans and members of the organization confused as to what was going on or what to do next. They would end up falling victim to the red hot 8th seeded Panthers in five games.
Edmonton Oilers
Seed: Pacific-2 Overall-6
Playoff Record: 6-6
I refuse to believe next year. We really talked ourselves into a McDavid McChampionship in the last few weeks of the season. It ain’t happening. Not in Edmonton.
New Jersey Devils
Seed: Metropolitan-2 Overall-3
Playoff Record: 5-7
Couldn’t find a gif that included the lyrics to the song playing in this TC Tuggers gif, but for those who don’t know it starts “Here we go now you’re playing with the big boys”. The New Jersey Devils had a big breakout season. 112 pts on the season, only two points away from winning their division, and made it to the second round of the playoffs. The second-round loss was probably a bummer for Devils fans, but they can rest easy knowing this is just the beginning. The team is young, very talented, and has a great coach in Lindy Ruff. The lifelong Buffalo Sabres fan in me might have influenced that last point.
Dallas Stars
Seed: Central-2 Overall-8
Playoff Record: 8-11
Max Domi & Jamie Benn what are you doing? Yall know that being put in time-out is a bad thing right? My guy played 0:42 seconds in a STANLEY CUP CONFERENCE FINAL GAME. There is a lot we could have talked about here. Pavelski with 4 game winners, Hintz break out, and Robertson came out in the second round, but Max Domi and Jamie Benn spent so much time in the sin bin they must have put up curtains.
Carolina Hurricanes
Seed: Metropolitan-1 Overall-2
Playoff Record: 8-7
No, you’re not.
The Hurricanes were experiencing arguably the best playoff run and season of the Rod Brind’Amour coaching era. They made quick work of the New York Islanders and steamrolled the New Jersey Devils in the first two rounds. Plus, with the Leafs and Bruins eliminated, it seemed the Hurricanes were Stanley Cup finals bound. Then they turned around into an RKO outta nowhere from the Panthers and Matty Tkachuk. After such a great year, they were left with no trophies to show for it.
Florida Panthers
Seed: East-WC2 Overall-16
Playoff Record: 13-8
Who didn’t fall in love with the Florida Panthers this postseason?
They upset the record-setting Bruins in round one after coming from behind to take the series to seven games.
They made all of the Leaf’s nation come crashing down to earth after the high of them getting past the first round.
Then they busted out the brooms and swept the Hurricanes.
They were underdogs in all three series, and despite getting outplayed in a lot of games, the vibes were too strong for the rest of the East. Heroics from Tkachuk and Bobrovksy refused to let the party die until they hoisted up the Prince of Wales trophy as Eastern Conference champs.
Vegas Golden Knights
Seed: Pacific-1 Overall-5
Playoff Record: 16-6
I’ll be honest, I crowbarred this one in, so my apologies to the Stanley Cup Champion Vegas Golden Knights. Like the Driving Crooner the Knights were good and they are making money off of it. Next season Vegas has to be cautious of people who want to make it look fake or steal their decals.