Immaculate Gridiron Round Table
Hello and Welcome to the 13th installment of The Waze Roundtable, Waze: Know where you’re going? Us neither. Today we talk about the internet game sensation, the Immaculate Gridiron.
Today I am joined by NFC Expert Adam Hess and AFC Scholar and 0-time Grammy Recording Artist of the Year, Mike Regan. Gentlemen, thank you for joining me today. Let’s dive in
What is your goal while playing the Immaculate Gridiron?
MIKE: The goal is simple isn’t it? To prove how much of a football genius I am. Also the added bonus of sending your results to your friends to brag only to realize they did better than you.
ADAM: My goal is to get the lowest percentage used players possible left on the board that play a skill position. The skill position part isn’t necessarily a goal but who can remember anyone in the NFL that isn’t in a skill position?
MIKE: I’m adding a new goal for myself. Name as many punters and long snappers as possible.
What is the proper strategy for the Immaculate Gridiron?
ADAM: I find it best to go with as obscure as possible on the Stat-based questions. It’s easier to remember 3 guys who threw for 400+ yards in a game and played for the Rams than it is to remember 3 players who played in the AFC South at any point in their careers.
MIKE: I like to start with easy ones where a correct answer immediately comes to mind. This way I can get my confidence up. If I start with the hard ones I’ll most likely think for five minutes and then get distracted and move on to doing something else. If I knock out those easy ones first though, I’ll be invested and think I actually have a chance to get a perfect board.
ADAM: You’re like the Immaculate Gridiron version of a golden retriever. Beautiful but with not much going on upstairs.
What are your thoughts on “Mr.Unlimited Mode”?
MIKE: Not for me personally because I like the challenge of having a set amount of guesses. However, I could see it as a fun mode when you’re drunk with friends and just wanna quiz each other to see who can come up with the most obscure right answers.
ADAM: Outright cheating. As many guesses as possible? You have enough guesses to guess every player in the NFL!
How should people disclose if they had to look up players?
ADAM: Wait we’re supposed to disclose if we googled players that played for the Colts and Texans?
MIKE: Did Bill Belichick disclose he was taping other teams’ practices? No. It’s only cheating if you get caught. You keep it to yourself until you’re on your deathbed. I would like to put it on record though, that I personally, would never stoop to such a low level.
ADAM: Yes, as long as no one can prove anything, I haven’t either.
What are your feelings on resetting the grid?
MIKE: It’s a fair mechanic if you have a dumb moment. Like not realizing you clicked on the wrong block, or you accidentally picked the wrong McCourty twin.
ADAM: Sometimes when I go to click a name and whiff and click like Dontrell Hilliard instead of Donte Moncrief I’ll reset because that’s frustrating as hell, but normally if you reset, just don’t be a dick and use to same picks as before but pretend you thought of those off the dome. Cheating at a game with 0 stakes is lame.
MIKE: No to rat myself out here, but I may or may not have clicked on the wrong Josh Allen one time.
ADAM: Literally the only time in history where two players available on the Immaculate Gridiron with the same name make physical contact.
What Questions are harder, the stat-based questions or team-based questions?
ADAM: Easily the team-based questions. You can throw a dart and guess players with peculiar stat lines. You can’t throw a dart and guess that Ty Montgomery played for the Saints at some point.
MIKE: I’m in total agreement here. Team-based questions can get tricky because sometimes you’ll think of a player and figure he must’ve ended up on a certain team. In my head, it’s totally plausible that after Albert Haynesworth shit the bed in Washington, he would’ve somehow ended up on the Raiders.
ADAM: He actually ended up on what many people believe is the polar opposite of the Raiders.
MIKE: Are the Patriots the opposite though? They have the same mentality as an organization. As Al Davis used to say, “Just win baby.” The only difference is the Patriots actually did it.
Is there a specific position you first think about for the team-based questions?
MIKE: Quarterback is the position that gets the most attention so obviously it’s the first one that comes to mind. Plus, bad quarterbacks who played for multiple teams somehow end up burned into my memory.
ADAM: It’s also really hard to think of a running back with 4+ interceptions in one game.
MIKE: Dee Jay Dallas was only three shy of doing that.
ADAM: Fournette too
With only 9 guesses there’s no room for error if you want to get the whole board. Should you get more guesses?
ADAM: I could see a world where there is a sliding scale where you get fewer points per answer for every guess over 9 all the way down to 0 points at like, I don’t know, 36. However, as we all know, you’re not a real football fan if you can’t name backup offensive linemen and are female.
MIKE: I’m a proponent of bumping the total amount of guesses up to ten. It would be like a warm-up guess or freebie. Plus ten is an even number and that just sits better with me and my weird brain. To be fair though, I’m also one of those weird people who will only put the volume of my TV on multiples of two or five.
ADAM: Put that on Tinder then people will know you’re quirky like Zooey Deschanel.
I would like to thank my two esteemed guests for stopping by today and participating in our Immaculate Gridiron Round Table Sponsered by Waze. Waze, The Road Less Traveled. Follow our experts on Twitter and Threads and be sure to look out for next week’s Waze Roundtable, Our Guests Couldn’t Find the Studio Sponsored by Waze.
