WWE’s big shows like WrestleMania and this weekend’s SummerSlam make me, and many wrestling fans nostalgic. In the weeks leading up, I often find myself going back and watching some of my favorite matches and moments from past SummerSlams. This year though, as I reminisced, I had a vision. Much like in Wayne’s World 2, when Wayne had a vision of himself in a desert where Jim Morrison told him his purpose was to put on the greatest concert ever. In my case though, instead of dessert it was on Discord, and instead of Jim Morrison it was fellow Talent Alone creator Adam Hess. Either way, I have accepted the challenge and have decided to put on the greatest SummerSlam ever! It will be called The All-Decade SummerSlam. The summer spectacular has spanned five decades, so I have booked a card consisting of a match from each decade. To put a twist on things, I structured my card in a way that a typical show would be. Meaning, that I didn’t allow myself to just pick the five biggest possible matches or five world title matches. I gave myself a strict set of rules. Everything’s more fun with rules, and here’s what they are:

• One match from each decade (80’s 90’s 00s 10s 20’s)
• No repeating titles or wrestlers
• Only one men’s world title match allowed 
• Only one Women’s world title match allowed
• One tag match required 

To help set the stage, and for the sake of imagination, I have decided on some other production details so you can really envision The All-Decade SummerSlam I’ve booked: 

First, we needed a tagline, sounds more official that way. So technically, the full name of the PPV is “The All-Decade SummerSlam: Fortune Favors the Brave”, sponsored by FTX. That sponsorship money never came through, for some reason.. Luckily putting on an imaginary wrestling show is cheap.  

Second, For my announce team I’ve gotten an all-star panel. Some people think three-man booths are too much. Is it too much though? Or is it just not enough? If SummerSlam has spanned five decades, then I’m gonna have a five-man booth! To call the action I’ve enlisted Jim Cornette, Vic Venom, “Easy E ” Eric Bischoff, and for play-by-play, I got holograms of both, Gorilla Monsoon and Gordon Solie. Also, I have Fergie signed on to sing the national anthem prior to the show. Everyone deserves a second chance. 

Third, the theme song for the All Decade SummerSlam will be Bryan Adams’s “Summer of 69” because as AEW has shown us with their themes, you have to pick one with a blatant reference to the show. How else will people know what they just willingly put on their TV? 

Now for the final detail that’s been on everyone’s mind. The venue. The all-decade SummerSlam will take place, in front of a packed house of 80,000 screaming fans. Live from Final Destination Arena! ….  No items.

The All-Decade SummerSlam

Fortune Favors The Brave!

Presented by FTX

Opening Match:

Rey Mysterio vs Eddie Guerrero

Ladder Match for the Custody of Dominik

SummerSlam 2005

So as I mentioned, I had to take the structure of the card into consideration. I needed a hot opener that could get the crowd going. I decided to use my match from the ’00s. As much as the premise of this match a lot of people roll their eyes, the talent made it work.  Eddie was a great heel, meanwhile, Mysterio is such a great babyface he can always easily get sympathy and the crowd behind him. You also have to mention Dominik Mysterio who, whether by design or not, had a great wide eye, scared and about to cry whenever on screen. The match work itself was good to no one’s surprise considering the talent involved. At one point Eddie went for the briefcase containing the custody documents and Dominik jumped in the ring and attempted to shake the ladder. Later Guerrero had another chance to win only for his own wife, Vicki Guerreor, to run to the ring and tip over the ladder. Really fun match that would work great to kick off our show. Mysterio won, but we never did get DNA test results to confirm Dominik was Rey’s kid. The mullet has me thinking.

Intercontinental Title Match:

Bret Hart (c) vs Mr. Perfect

Singles match for the Intercontinental Championship

SummerSlam 1991

When I started booking my card I figured I would end up using Triple H and The Rock’s ladder match for the IC title from ‘98 as my ’90s match. However, I really wanted Rey and Eddie as my opener and I couldn’t justify having two ladder matches.

Once that match was out I turned to Bret Hart. I avoided booking his matches from ‘88 and ‘89 for this exact reason. I knew he had some bangers in the ’90s at SummerSlam and wanted to have that in my back pocket. Most people will be surprised I didn’t go with his main event match for the same title at SummerSlam ‘92 against The British Bulldog from Wembley Stadium. The venue was the reason. The match was great, yes, but it was boosted by the atmosphere of Bulldog being in his home country. Instead, I decided to go with the Mr. Perfect match. The match was also great and will fit in well after the ladder match. It’s a good change of pace going from a wild ladder match fueled by the over-the-top story being told to a match with a more technical wrestling vibe. The finish came when Mr. Perfect went for a leg drop to the midsection of Hart. Hart snatched his leg, grapevined it, and then turned it over into the Sharp Shooter for the submission dub. 

Tag Match:

The Mega Powers (Hulk Hogan & “Macho Man” Randy Savage w/Miss Elizabeth) vs The Mega Bucks (“The Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibiase & Andre the Giant) w/Virgil & Bobby “The Brain” Heenan 

Tag Team Match w/Jesse “The Body” Venture as Special guest referee

SummerSlam 1988

Of the two SummerSlams that took place in the ‘80s, there was no match bigger than this one from a star power standpoint. It slots in great as my third match on the card. I opened with two matches that included top tier in ring work. With this one, the in-ring work doesn’t matter. It’s all about big-time names and the attraction aspect. No disrespect intended to Savage and Debiase who were both very good in-ring workers, but they were also in there with Hulk Hogan and late ‘80’s Andre. Hogan is one of the most ratio’d wrestlers of all time when it comes to star power vs. in-ring talent, and at this stage of his career Andre was not what he once was. However, as I said, it didn’t matter.

This match was still part of one of the greatest long-term stories the WWE ever told. All four men in the ring and the special guest ref Ventura are Hall of Famers and some of the most recognizable names in wrestling history. During the match, Miss Elizabth was arguing with Ventura and then tore off her skirt revealing her underwear. This act of debauchery distracted Debiase. To be fair, who could blame him? Not to sound misogynistic, but Miss Elizabeth? Can I get a YEW!? The distraction let The Mega Powers gain the upper hand. Macho Man came off the top with the elbow and Hogan dropped the leg. Mega Powers over. OOOOOH YEEEAAAH!!!!

Women’s Title Match:

Bianca Belair (c) vs Becky Lynch

Singles Match for the Raw Women’s Championship

SummerSlam 2022

It should come as no surprise to anyone that my Women’s title match came from a more recent card. The year prior at SummerSlam Belair was supposed to defend her title against “The Boss” Sasha Banks. However, due to injury, Banks couldn’t compete. In Bank’s place, Becky Lynch made a surprise return to face Belair. Lynch offered a handshake to Bianca, but as she was going to accept, Lynch cold-cocked her with a forearm and hit the manhandle slam to take The EST’s title in a matter of seconds.

While I wasn’t always crazy about Lynch being a heel, because I thought she had more value to the company as face, she made it work. Early in 2022, on the first night of WrestleMania 38, Belair avenged that loss when she beat Lynch for the belt in a great match. However, it wasn’t until their rubber match at SummerSlam that Belair finally exorcized her demons by beating “The Man”. The finish came after Belair reversed a second rope manhandle slam into a Spanish fly and shortly later hit the KOD for the clean win. After the match Lynch would shake the hand of Belair, providing an excellent book end to the story one year later.  Some could say I’m putting this match in a tough spot on the card. In my defense, it’s The All-Decade SummerSlam!! Even with the rules I put into place the five matches here are going to be top-notch. Also, my third match wasn’t an in-ring masterpiece, it was an attraction match that only went roughly 15 minutes. 

Prior to the main event, Bruce Buffer comes out, but as he walks to the ring, BY GAWD!!! THAT’S MICHAEL BUFFER WITH A STEEL CHAIR. The eldest Buffer cracks his younger brother with the chair and takes his place in the ring to handle introductions for our main event of the evening. 

*Editors note: The above joke was so inside baseball that it took me 11 minutes worth of googling to understand

Men’s Title Match:

John Cena (c) vs Daniel Bryan 

Singles Match for the WWE Championship w/ Special Guest Referee Triple HHH

SummerSlam 2013

In hindsight, it’s wild just how much that custody ladder match as my opener affected the card. One of my favorite SummerSlam main events of all time is the Triple Threat WWE title match from SummerSlam 2001 featuring The Rock, Kurt Angle, and Triple H. Unfortunately, my match representing the 2000s was already spoken for, so in its place, I picked one of my other favorites. One formula that worked in the 2010s was Cena vs. big-time indie stars. That’s not a joke. Cena’s best matches came when he was in the ring with the likes of CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, AJ Styles, or Kevin Owens. What also helped this match is that the Daniel Bryan push was one hundred percent organic (just like his title belt). 

It was clear the quote-unquote WWE Universe was behind Daniel Bryan. On the episode of Monday Night Raw when Cena announced who he would face at Summerslam the entire crowd was chanting for Bryan before Cena could even say anything (WARNING, that clip goes on for so long). D-Bry, in a sense, beat a lot of odds. He was hands down one of, if not the single, greatest in-ring performers in the world when he came into the company in 2009, but a lot of die-hard wrestling fans were apprehensive. After all, he was smaller in stature and came into the company at a time when being an indie star seemed to go against you with the powers that be.

Despite all of that, throughout his WWE career, the American Dragon found how to take what he did that made him a star outside of WWE and mix it with what the promotion usually looked for in main eventers. That culminated at this SummerSlam, when not only did Daniel Bryan beat John Cena for the company’s biggest prize, but he beat him clean. For those who may not understand the significance of that, once Cena got cemented as the guy, rarely ever took clean losses. Even when he reached the point of being built so strong that no loss could hurt, WWE still made sure to include something in the match to protect Cena. The image is still burned into my brain of when 5 foot 10 inch Daniel Bryan hit that running knee and guest ref Triple H counted the 1-2-3. The indie darling, the former ROH World Champion, the guy who readers of the observer and torch raved about, just beat the golden boy of the promotion. 

The match itself was phenomenal. They went nearly 27 minutes and told a great story of Daniel Bryan proving he was on the level of Cena. The crowd was hot, invested in the match, and popped huge for Bryan’s win. It was emotional. Daniel Bryan was someone seen as an underdog in the big sea of WWE reaching the top of the mountain because he was too talented to deny. Most importantly, since I’m booking this show, it ends there! No pedigree. No Orton cash-in. We go off the air with Daniel Bryan, belt in hand, as he leads the sold-out crowd in chanting yes. 

As The All-Decade SummerSlam comes to a close, pyro shoots off, and the crowd is cheering and stunned at the amazing show they’ve just seen. Grown men openly weep in the aisles.  At this point, the Gordon Solie and Gorilla Monsoon holograms have been taken away after the rental company realized my check bounced. Vic Venom is gone because Jim Cornette realized it was Vince Russo and attempted to beat him to death with a shoe. Obviously, Cornette was arrested for attempted manslaughter, and Eric Bischoff is no longer on Commentary after he managed to, once again, crawl up his own ass. There’s no one left to sign off the show. I leave the gorilla position and race down to ringside, throw on the headset, compose myself, and take a deep breath before shouting over the broadcast…

”PUNK DID NOTHING WRONG!”

*Hey! Editor Adam here. If you enjoyed this article check out our Wrestling Podcast here or our other Wrestling Content here. If you’re reading this article on Friday, August 4th keep an eye out for our SummerSlam predictions coming tomorrow.