Predictions: WWE Fastlane

Vroom vroom Skrrt Skrrt!!!! We’re on the Fastlane to…..Survivor Series? Sorry for my confusion, every other time WWE has had this premium live event it’s been used to fill the hole on the calendar between the Royal Rumble and WrestleMania. Either way, the event is making its return for the first time since 2021, and will air live this Saturday from Indianapolis. Ooooh now I get why they chose Fastlane as the banner name for this show. It’s because Indiana is next to Ohio, which is where Kid Cudi is from, and Kid Cudi was in the hit 2014 movie Need for Speed. Duh. No matter the reason, it’s a WWE PLE, so the Talent Alone tag team of Mike and Adam are back with some fast and furious predictions. 

The last time we came to you it was with our predictions for AEW’s inaugural WrestleDream PPV. The pressure was on as Adam had crawled his way back to tie the competition. I came out victorious on the three matches we disagreed on, thus picking up the slim 7-6 victory for the night, and getting back on top in the overall scoring 51-50. This means I’m back on deck and will kick off predictions as I look to increase my lead.

John Cena & LA Knight vs. The Bloodline (Solo Sikoa & Jimmy Uso)

MIKE: I’ll keep this short and sweet. It’s The Bloodline yes, but the Bloodline sans their Tribal Chief. In the other corner, it’s Golden Boy John Cena and the hottest act in the company L-A-Knight. YEAH! Plus, Knight vs Roman is starting to feel inevitable. YEAH!

JOHN CENA & LA KNIGHT 

ADAM: Wait Kid Cudi was in Need for Speed? I’ve seen that movie but I guess I just Erased Him. See What I did there? 

I would love to make a case for the Bloodline here, so I will. A returning Roman Reigns interferes and takes out LA Knight (yeah). Solo gets the pin over Cena accomplishing two things, 1) It sets up LA Knight (yeah) vs Roman and 2) Launches Solo up a tier with a win over Cena. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, I’m not picking against the GOAT and LA Knight.

JOHN CENA & LA KNIGHT (YEAH)

MIKE: That prediction was a swerve that would make Vince Russo blush. 

World Heavyweight Championship:

Seth Rollins (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (Last Man Standing match)

ADAM: I’m pretty sure I’ve picked wrong on every World Heavyweight Championship since this belt was added way back in the year of our lord 2023. Well, I’m gonna go ahead and pick wrong again. Let’s get Shinsuke a run with the belt before he hangs them up. I might be wrong but at least I’m wrong on my terms

SHINSUKE NAKAMURA

MIKE: Just wait a minute! Don’t go stealing my gimmick of blindly picking Nakamura, even when the brain says he won’t win. 

Shinsuke has been great, the prerecorded promos a smart move, and the attacks on Rollins have made him feel dangerous. Shinsuke continually attacked Seth until he stayed down for ten on the go-home Raw sold him to the audience as a threat to Rollins’ belt. However, within all that lies why he won’t win. It’s written in the WWE booking playbook, sadly. When the heel is dominant heading into the match, the babyface always wins. 

I’d love to see Nak steamroll Seth and win the strap, that could set up Rollins on a great road to redeeming himself to regain the title. With all that said, for once I’m gonna tell myself to shut up and stop fantasy booking.

SETH “FREAKIN” ROLLINS 

WWE Women’s Championship:

IYO SKY (c) vs. Asuka vs. Charlotte Flair

MIKE: Sound the alarms we gave a show stealer alert. Not really a sleeper pick for show stealer considering the talent involved. We are eventually going to get to Bayley vs Iyo Sky. The seeds have been planted. Bayley set up this triple threat, much to Iyo Sky’s dismay. Bayley is jealous, she wants Iyo Sky to lose that. Sky retains here, and at some point down the line, Bayley will strike to end the genius of the Sky’s title reign herself.

IYO SKY  

ADAM: Mike is right, this is the sleeper-not-sleeper match of the night contender. Iyo Sky walked out of Summerslam with the title after cashing in and we probably see her walk out champion after this match but I did want to highlight something here. Did you know Asuka was 42? When the fuck did that happen. She and LA Knight should start a podcast about the AARP or when is the best time to start withdrawals from your Roth IRA.

IYO SKY

Undisputed Tag Team Championships:

Judgment Day (Damian Priest and Finn Balor) (c) vs. Cody Rhodes and Jey Uso

ADAM: I don’t get this shit at all man. I really wish they had just let Cody and Jey do their own things AND they’ve got two cobbled-together tag teams competing for the tag titles tonight. I like Judgement Day but I feel like they’re spinning their wheels. There are a lot of good cases to be made either way here but I’ll continue making the “treading water until Wrestlemania” for now. Cody vs Drew at Survivor Series?

JUDGEMENT DAY

MIKE: WWE continues to tease dissension with Judgement Day and the possibility it could collapse. I believe this is another step in that story, but the group will once again keep it together to retain. Rhea Ripley has established dominance as the leader of the faction. If I were Priest and Balor, I wouldn’t want to make Mami angry by losing those titles. Or maybe I would? Crap, did I just write that part out loud?

THE JUDGMENT DAY

LWO (Rey Mysterio, Santos Escobar, and TBD) vs. Bobby Lashley and Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford)

MIKE: Another quick one to break down. Lashley and the Street Profits are on the rise, while LWO is headed for a breakdown. This could even be the place where it finally happens. Watch out, Mysterio! El Hijo Del Fantasma is coming for you. I used Escobar’s ring name prior to WWE so I could T pose and show my superior wrestling knowledge. 

They added the wrinkle this past Friday of Wilde and Del Toro both being not medically cleared for the match at Fastlane. Whoever it is, it doesn’t change my opinion.

LASHLEY AND THE PROFITS

ADAM: Kenneth Crawford, Angelo Dawkins, and Franklin Lashley (See you’re not the only guy with Google Mike) have some juice left in the….. fruit? And the LWO is headed for an explosion. It’s all been falling apart since Rey STOLE Santos Escobar’s US Title when he beat Austin Theory. Rey first cost his relationship with Eddie Guerrero’s son when he kept letting him ruin holidays and now he’s ruining the LWO. When will we stop this naked menace from destroying lives? GET ME PICTURES OF REY MYSTERIO

STREET PROFITS AND BOBBY LASHLEY