WrestleMania 42 – Predictions
It’s WRESTLEMANIA TIME, FOLKS!
And you know what that means: Talent Alone is back with the FINAL edition in the year-long prediction contest running from Mania to Mania. This is Adam’s final chance to catch Mike, who, after going 4-5 at AEW Revolution, is sitting at 63-36 on the year. Meanwhile, Adam went 6-4 (yes, you counted right, Mike refused to make a pick in one match) and is now at 54-46, which means the magic number is 9. If the two opponents do manage a tie, the tie breaker would go to Adam because I’m typing the intro so I make the rules.
That’s enough nonsense, let’s get into the matches and see who is dumb and who is… not dumb.
WrestleMania - Night One
The Vision (Logan Paul & Austin Theory) & IShowSpeed (W/ Paul Heyman) vs. The Usos (Jimmy & Jey Uso) & LA Knight
MIKE: IShowspeed being in this match does nothing for me. Not hating on it, I get why they want him on the card, just not something that has any appeal to me. I feel pretty confident in Vision going over here. The group’s story has gone totally off the rails due to injury and they could use the win to get some momentum back. Also, Triple H would never let LA Knight win a PPV match.
THE VISION & ISHOWSPEED
ADAM: How the Usos have fallen….
This seems like a match where Nick Kahn or Ari Emmanuel will say that this match had the most interaction among 23-27 year old born-again virgins, which is the prime audience for welterweight title matches in Bellator which is the exact demographic they were targeting but I don’t know that anyone is shelling out the quiche for a PPV because of this. That being said, every WWE PPV is already bought and paid for so what the hell do they care?
THE VISION & ISHOWSPEED
Unsanctioned Match: Jacob Fatu vs Drew McIntyre
ADAM: I’m getting my bitching gloves and hat ready for when this is a 12 minute match in the middle of the card. IT CAN’T BE UNSANCTIONED IF IT TAKES PLACE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PPV.
With all that being said I’m looking forward to this match. Since Drew’s initial heel run a few years ago he’s basically just been on a tear and while Jacob Fatu has yet to really live up to his promise on WWE programming, Drew is the hand that might get him there. This match has an excellent build and will hopefully be slotted into the right spot (after that main event).
JACOB FATU
MIKE: Poor Drew. Dude spent years being an als ran to the bloodline, then CM Punk, and they finally gave him another title run only for him to drop the belt on Smackdown a month out from WrestleMania. Now, he’s going to get fed to Fatu. Should be a good physical match tho.
JACOB FATU
Women’s World Heavyweight Championship Fatal Four-Way: Stephanie Vaquer(c) vs Liv Morgan
MIKE: I can still remember years ago when the company was really trying to push Liv Morgan as babyface and I was totally out on her. However, her run as a heel over the past couple years has really impressed me. It fits her better, and she’s actually become pretty solid in the ring. With all that said, Vaquer is retaining. Seems like the company is heavily invested in making her a top women’s star on the company, and it’s working.
STEPHANIE VAQUER
ADAM: Mike has incorrectly discounted the “heel shenanigans” factor on this one. I think Liv probably gains a bit from snagging the belt but with Raquel or Roxanne interference, we could be crowning a new champ and leading into a non-title feud for Vaquer.
LIV MORGAN
WWE Women’s Intercontinental Match: AJ Lee(c) vs Becky Lynch
ADAM: This mid-card run feel like its been Becky’s calling card for a decade now despite, at one point, being the hottest wrestler since D-Bry’s Yes movement. AJ Lee was a cool move ay the time but has barely had any screen time since and it really feels like its time to close the curtains on that one.
BECKY LYNCH
MIKE: AJ Lee beat Becky Lynch in the tag match with their husbands back at WrestePalooza. AJ beat Becky for the belt back at Royal Rumble. That means Lynch has to get a win back here right? Well to quote the great Lee Corso, “not so fast”. Let’s subvert expectations and have AJ go 3-0 against Big Time Becks. Lynch is a star with plenty of credibility, so building her back up afterwards will be an easy task.
AJ LEE
WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship: The Irresistible Forces(Nia Jax & Lash Legend)(c) vs Charlotte Flair & Alexa Bliss vs Bayley & Lyra Valkyria vs The Bella Twins(Brie Bella & Nikki Bella)
MIKE: Kind of a tough call here. Bayley and Lyre Valkyria have become super stale in my opinion, and should go their separate ways. Meanwhile, I refuse to pick the Bellas on principle even though I think they have a probability of winning. The champs are the big bad monster team, so retaining would make sense and help continue to build up Lash Legend. Lastly, I think Charlotte and Bliss have clicked very well as a tag team. The only issue with it is, and I don’t mean this as a slight to the Tag division, they just seem above this spot. Ever since they paired up, it felt like it was because they’re two of the company’s big women’s stars and creative had to find a way to use them. I’d prefer to see both of them make their way back to a singles title picture, but in the meantime, I think the powers that be opt to give the win here.
ALEXA BLISS & CHARLOTTE FLAIR
ADAM: This match is like a WASP-mom’s car 45 minutes after the final whistle in a under-12 soccer game.
It’s all out of juice.
I couldn’t make a compelling case for why ANY of these squads could be a fun title duo for the foreseeable future, and although I think Bayley and Valkyria probably win, I’m going to back Mike’s pick here purely to coin the team name “Tall n’ Small.”
ALEXA BLISS & CHARLOTTE FLAIR
ADAM (editors note): After counting up the matches, I need to change a few picks to have a shot at winning so I’m changing my official pick.
BAYLEY & LYRA VALKYRIA
Seth Rollins vs Gunther
ADAM: If this is the match of night one, I’m officially putting us on DEFCON 3 for “is Seth Rollins the new Mr. Wrestlemania” watch. These two guys could have had 0 build to this match and I’d still be excited. It’s like Luka vs Jokic, Brady vs Manning or Jordan vs The Mon-Stars. Must watch TV at any price.
SETH ROLLINS
MIKE: How dare you! Shawn Michaels will always be “Mr. WrestleMania” and I won’t hear otherwise.
I do agree that this match could steal the show on not only night one, but possibly the whole two night affair. With Rollins recently making his big return it’s understandable for him to be the betting favorite to win, unfortunately, anybody betting on him will be wrong. Gunther is just that dude. He’s the big bad mountain that few men have ever managed to climb. It would be great booking for Rollins to have all this momentum coming off his return, only to run into a big Austrian wall and get knocked down.
GUNTHER
Undisputed WWE Championship: “The American Nightmare” Cody Rhodes(c) vs Randy Orton (w/Pat McAfee)
MIKE: The build to this match started so well and was set up to be so simple. Orton’s heel turn worked great. It came across as him turning, not for the stereotypical reasons we often see, but out of necessity. Because at this stage of his career he needs the belt to prove to others and himself that he’s still got what it takes. He doesn’t hate Cody, or really wanted to have to do this to him, but it’s what he has to do to accomplish his goal. Simple, strong story telling backed by an organic history between the two wrestlers. Sadly, everything has gone off the rails since then. They first had Stephanie McMahon randomly come back to give Cody a boiler plate pep talk. Which was weird but not at all the worst thing compared to what was coming. For whatever reason or rumors as to why, they shoe-horned Pat McAfee in at the eleventh hour so he could cut promos shitting on the entire company in a pseudo-shoot fashion referring to reports made by dirt sheets. It hasn’t been helped either by McAfee’s performance. He’s come across like a kid at space camp pretending to be an astronaut, but instead of space camp, it’s WWE camp. Don’t worry though, they doubled down on this turd sandwich by adding the stipulation that the former Colts punter has to leave the wrestling business forever if Orton loses. They didn’t just tip their hand as to who’s going to win, they threw their cards down on the table face up for everybody to see.
RANDY ORTON
ADAM: Who is a good Cody comp? Francis Ford Coppola? Like obviously he has talent but holy shit dude put down the 40th draft and realize you’re doing way way way too much.
RANDY ORTON
WrestleMania - Night Two
Obi Femi vs Brock Lesnar
ADAM: Everyone is pointing out the symmetry between Taker doing the job for an over Lesnar to push him to permanent main event mode, but I’m going to just remind you that Brock Lesnar was accused of transacting sex from a woman who did not want to have sex with him.
OBI FEMI
MIKE: Damn Adam, bringing everybody down by reminding us about the bad things people have relatively recently been accused of.
This match is definitely going on first, like all non main event Lesnar matches, and it’s going no longer than 7 minutes. It’ll be a big man collision with a lot of power moves, someone’s crashing through the barricade and Lesnar will hit 3-5 F5’s that Femi shockingly keeps kicking out of before he wins that match.
OBA FEMI
WWE Intercontinental Championship Six-Pack Ladder Match: Penta(c) vs Je’Von Evans vs Dragon Lee vs JD McDonagh vs Rusev vs Rey Mysterio
MIKE: If there’s one rule WWE has every year for WrestleMania, it’s that there has to be a multi man ladder match. The company appears to be high on Je’Von Evans, so it’s a realistic possibility they want to give him a big WrestleMania moment. However, I think the more likely outcome is that he has the big crazy highlight spots to stand out and get a boost, without winning the title. After removing him as a possible winner, there is only one answer left. Penta retains. Penta’s cool, charismatic and from what I’ve been told, he has zero fear.
PENTA
ADAM: It is incredible what Penta has accomplished after entering AEW in relative obscurity. Seriously, he’s the only guy to come close to the Rey Mysterio heat since Rey’s peak. I think this match will be fun but a great reminder that we have of done the ladder match gimmick to death. My hope Is that they get only really really short ladders and who ever has the best vert is the winner.
Je’VON EVANS
WWE United State Championship: Sami Zayn(c) vs Trick Williams(w/ Lil Yachty)
ADAM: Who is on Mt. Rushmore of “WWE Fumbled This Guy?” Zayn has got to be there for sure right? They’ve made us think he’s gonna get a real shot at a top belt and then stick the US title on him to set up a Trick Williams/Carmelo Hayes feud. The good news is, if Zayn wins, Lil Yachty will permanently retire from punting in the NFL.
TRICK WILLIAMS
MIKE: The direction of the Sami Zayn character has been weird over the past couple months. It also seems to still be in its earlier stages of the story. This won’t be the two men’s last match, and the feud will end with Trick hoisting the title once again, but it’s not happening here.
SAMI ZAYN
“The Demon” Finn Balor vs Dominik Mysterio
MIKE: The Demons back, the demons rules. I just hope they drop the presentation they did in the past of acting like it’s some sort of spooky super natural character. Go back to how it originally came across, a thing Balor does for big matches to show that he’s not f’n around. The Irish wrestler with a single digit percentage of body fat is winning here.
FINN BALOR
ADAM: The student vs the master. Judgement Day explodes and comes to a collision In Vegas. Perfect way to bring back the Demon. I can’t wait for this match to be 11 minutes because the ladder match goes on for 40.
DOMINIK MYSTERIO
WWE Women’s Championship: Jade Cargill(c) vs Rhea Ripley
MIKE: Sure, one could give some long thought out prediction for this match, but that’s not necessary. Why? Because there are three things in this life that are certain. Death, taxes, and MAMI’s ALWAYS ON TOP!
RHEA RIPLEY
ADAM: We need a sign that says something like “Its been X days since it was the Jade Cargill breakout moment.” Maybe I’m the one who is wrong but its tough when we keep being told that Jade is the biggest thing in WWE but she keeps getting upstaged by everyone shes in a program with or against. I don’t see why Mania would have any other result.
RHEA RIPLEY
ADAM (editor’s note): Okay one more change at the 1-yard line.
JADE CARGILL
World Heavyweight Championship: “The Best In The World” CM Punk(c) vs “The Tribal Chief” Roman Reigns
ADAM: Boy that CM Punk can talk can’t he? He might be the only guy this side of MJF who you can promo “x will speak live after the commercials” and not lose any viewers to the new episode of Rings of Power. Roman hasn’t put on a bad title match in like 5 year (basically since Lesnar left the company for some reason that I guess no one remembers) and Punk only puts on bad matches when he breaks a bone or tears a muscle or throws muffins and good little Christian boys so we’re probably in for an all time BANGER on this one. I hope Punk comes out on top because I worry that they’ll toss him aside to the mid card if he loses but even more than that, I worry that this match is going to have interference from let’s say the Boogeyman and that will be the story for the next 2 pay per views.
ROMAN REIGNS
MIKE: I’m going to be honest with all the readers. Adam is currently yelling at me because I need to predict this match so he can post the article in time. Problem is, I am so god damn hungover and my brain is not working. Like most mornings when I wake up with a bad hangover, I’m starting to think CM Punk could be on to something with the whole straight edge thing.
CM PUNK
ADAM: Drunk and hungover??? In the hometown of CM Punk?? I hope when he reads this article he forgives you.
WE GOT A GAME.
13 matches, 9 disagreements and it’s all for the top prize in pro wrestling, being able to say you predicted wrestling better than your hung over buddy.
From the bottom of our hearts, we want to thank any of you who have read or shared any of our work and we’ll be back with BACKLASH for a new year of predictions.
Here’s to 100 more years of Saudi PPVs!
